Week in TV (The Voice UK preview)

The coaches, Jessie J, Danny O'Donoghue, Will.i.am, Tom Jones ©Wall To Wall; Image credit: BBC/Wall To Wall/David Venni

This week's TV has a note of finality about it, as three big series finish and the Jubilee is fiiinally upon us. But don’t worry - we’ve got them all covered, which will hopefully make them more enjoyable than certain other unwelcome Finals intruding your life…

TV picks:

1) The Apprentice: The Final (Sunday, 8.30pm) – with three contestants remaining, and just one position available, who will win the opportunity to make tea for Sir Alan and fade into total obscurity? Make sure you watch out for Matt’s hilarious Apprentice blog, but if you can’t wait until then, why not read back over previous weeks here?

2) Game of Thrones: End of season two (Monday, 9pm, Sky Atlantic) – with last week’s epic green explosions, it’ll be interesting to see how much CGI money is left for the grand finale. Expect to see Daenerys full of rage when the dragons are returned to her as cardboard cutouts on sticks.

3) On Saturday, Alistair McGowan presents You Cannot Be Serious! (BBC1, 7.30pm) an entertainment show based around the sporting events of the week, complete with impressions and sketches. The London Olympics will also feature heavily, but if you’re not into sport and still want a reason to whip out your Union Jack-themed attire, then there’s always…

4) All the Queen’s Horses: A Royal Jubilee Special (Sunday, ITV1, 6.30pm), Gary Barlow – On Her Majesty’s Service (BBC1, 7.30pm), and The Royal Jubilee Concert (Monday, BBC1, 7.30pm), which will feature Tom Jones and Jessie J (more on them later). However, if you happen to be ignoring the whole thing and want to avoid Jubilee frivolity at ALL COSTS, there’s always, erm, well… World’s Most Extreme Airports on Channel 5?

5) So, on the subject of Tom Jones and Jessie J, tomorrow sees the live final of The Voice UK (BBC1, 7.20pm). Don’t know who the acts are? I barely do either, and I’ve been watching it all the way through. Like Eurovision last week, we’ll be liveblogging, and it would be wonderful if you’d share in this joyous event. Let’s have a recap of who’s made it to the final, and who we'll inevitably be whinging about:

The Voice UK: Finalists

Team Jessie: Vince Kidd

Flitting between warbling falsettos and deeper notes, Vince probably has the most unique voice in the competition, which could be enough to get him through. Further kudos for being the only contestant brave enough to don what look like plastic trousers, which means he can't get too near those hot studio lights.

Team Danny: Bo Bruce

The Voice may have tried to turn her "poshness" into a bit of a sob story at the start, but the public seem to like Bo's Dido-appeal, so her husky vocals may see her win. If nothing else, she wins the prize for the craziest hair.

Team Tom: Leanne Mitchell

It was certainly a shock to see Leanne’s rival, Ruth, go home at the end of last week’s results show, but Leanne’s not that bad. Well actually, she's rather good, can hit the notes, and unlike the other three, isn't trying to be achingly hipster. She also has an inability to sing "oooOOOoooOOhhh" without moving through several octaves.

Team Will.i.am: Tyler James

Last week, Tyler amazed/baffled/horrified the nation with his take on Bohemian Rhapsody that included an army of suited clones. He was chosen over the super smooth Jaz “HIS NAME IS JAZ!” Ellington, showing that the British Public clearly enjoy being terrified out their minds. If Tyler wins, will his army of clones take over the world? We'll have to wait and see.

The Voice UK Liveblog starts at 7.20pm and will be, to emanate Will.i.am, "totally dope". Be there.

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