Extra terrestrial life visits Europe
After visiting Earth for a short while, aliens have left after communicating little more than their confusion as to the role of goal-line assistant referees in the Euro 2012 competition.
The Yorker can exclusively reveal that extra-terrestrial life has visited Earth. In a leaked memo from the Pentagon, it can be confirmed that in the last month there has been a visit from aliens on this here our planet. According to the memo, there was sustained contact with the aliens and it is apparent that humans were able to communicate by code with the creatures and were able to reliably interpret what they were saying.
The aliens had been on Earth since about lunchtime on Sunday, June 3. They landed somewhere near Doncaster then realised it was a really boring place so they flew round Europe and observed some of the Euro 2012 games.
The human interpreter said the aliens were rather confused about some aspects of the game and the following is the actual interpretation of what one of the aliens said: “We understand your sports game you call 'football', it actually looks like quite a lot of fun and we’ll probably steal the idea if that’s OK with you guys.
"But there was one thing that most puzzled us, the man who wasn’t playing on the pitch was the one overseeing the rules, yes we understand that bit. But who are those officials next to those goal things? In all of the games we saw they just stood there for the whole thing and didn’t do anything, and in the last match we watched, the ball clearly crossed the line and the man just stood there!
"My brother Krinkrock the V nearly shot him with his laser out of frustration, but I said ‘save it until the invas…’ party, party I said party."
The Pentagon is denying that these leaked memos exist and told the author of this piece: “We are watching you.”
Meanwhile, UEFA is still insisting on the use of these extra assistant referees.